親友Kを欺いて自死に追いやった底知れぬ自責の念から、自らも「殉死」のような形で命を断つ道を選んだ

From the self-reproach of betraying his close friend and driving him to death, Sensei continued to be tormented by a dark sense of guilt for the rest of his life, even after marrying the daughter. With the passing of Emperor Meiji and General Nogi's suicide, he resolved to end his own life. The long testament letter Sensei left for 'me' was the cry of his soul confessing his entire life.